- Charlie Brooker | How to jazz up the party leaders' TV debates8 March 2010, 12:05 am
There are 76 rules broadcasters have to follow for the debates. But I've found a loophole...So: those televised prime ministerial debates will definitely be happening in the runup to the election. The excitement is hard to contain: three separate primetime shows on Sky, ITV and the Beeb in which Brown, Cameron and Clegg will get the opportunity to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk. And possibly jig. But mainly talk.Depending on your point of view, this is either a refreshing opportunity... - Charlie Brooker's Screen burn6 March 2010, 12:08 am
'Stone is such a tool it's a wonder the cameras didn't explode out of horrified glee'Reader, I apologise in advance. Words can't describe the exquisite mix of pain, fury and joy that is Pineapple Dance Studios (Sun, 6pm, Sky1). Yet words must suffice. I can't just sit here silently popping my mouth open and shut like a surprised mute, although that's precisely the reaction it provokes. You know how every so often the natural history unit throws up a documentary about hallucinogenically weird org... - Charlie Brooker | Want to read this article? Then enter your password27 February 2010, 12:09 am
Forgotten your password? That'll be the 58th one you've not remembered this year, thenIn days of yore, we're told, people had less leisure time because everything – everything – was a protracted pain in the fundament. Want to clean that smock? Then you'll have to walk six miles carrying a pail of water back from the village well. And that's before you've tackled the laundering process itself, which consists of three hours laboriously scrubbing your soiled garment against a washboard and wr... - Charlie Brooker | In the west, adultery isn't punished by stoning. Instead, the press will kick you until you beg for forgiveness22 February 2010, 7:00 am
But for whose benefit are these public displays of contrition?Tiger Woods said sorry. John Terry said sorry. Even Vernon Kay said sorry. It's a sorry state of affairs. If you were to rank the three in terms of transgression, that's probably the order they'd fall in: Woods first, then Terry, and finally Kay (pictured), who didn't even cheat, or at least not in our physical realm. Texting flirty messages? Maybe unwise when you're otherwise engaged in a relationship, but at the very worst it's ... - Charlie Brooker's Screen burn20 February 2010, 12:06 am
This week Charlie Brooker has been feasting on Michael Winner's Dining StarsNot sure why, but many people seem to think I'm some kind of knee-jerk anti-everything hate machine, particularly with regards to TV. Was it something I said? In reality, I'm happy to sit through what might broadly be considered "crap" programming when the mood strikes me. I can't get enough of To Buy Or Not To Buy, for instance: I don't exactly tune in specifically to watch it, although to the casual onlooker it might l... - Charlie Brooker | Why I'm an ebook convert15 February 2010, 12:05 am
A Kindle or ebook won't have that 'new book smell' – but no one's going to judge you by its coverFollowing my blithering about the iPad the other week, I found myself thinking about ebooks. That's my life for you. A rollercoaster. Until recently, I was an ebook sceptic, see; one of those people who harrumphs about the "physical pleasure of turning actual pages" and how ebook will "never replace the real thing". Then I was given a Kindle as a present. That shut me up. Stock complaints about... - Charlie Brooker | iPad therefore iWant? Probably. Why? iDunno1 February 2010, 12:06 am
Apple pretends it will make your life more efficient. Come off it. It's an oblong box that lights upA star appears over San Francisco and a new gizmo is born. The iPad! At first glance it resembles an iPhone in unhandy, non-pocket-sized form. But look a little longer, and . . Nope. You were right first time.Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Apple excels at taking existing concepts – computers, MP3 players, conceit – and carefully streamlining them into glistening ergonomic chunks of ... - Charlie Brooker | Britain tastes better when it's swaddled in Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate25 January 2010, 12:05 am
Charlie Brooker: The thought of the Americans meddling with the Cadbury formula is too much for many of us to bearI'm not especially patriotic – I find the union flag a tad garish, and the white cliffs of Dover a touch bland – but the news that the US company Kraft had bought Cadbury came as a bitter blow. It's a very British thing, Cadbury. We've all got a great deal of fondness for it. It's one of the few home comforts you miss while you're abroad, like the BBC or Marmite or self-deprecato... - The politics of sharing a bed23 January 2010, 12:10 am
Does the way we sleep reveal the true nature of our relationships, wonders Tim Dowling, while writers and celebrities reveal their bedroom secrets• In pictures: which position do you sleep in?It's one of the first things to go in the war of attrition between romance and pragmatism – the idea of spending all night nose to nose, tightly entwined in a lover's embrace. The arrangement represents a commitment to passion that simply cannot be maintained for more than a few days before someo... - Charlie Brooker's Screen burn23 January 2010, 12:06 am
'Take Me Out is a cross between Blind Date and Boots' Here Come The Girls campaign'Anticipation is everything. If someone tells you to close your eyes and open your mouth while they feed you a slice of the most delicious chocolate gateau you'll ever encounter, only to spoon a pawful of dead mashed mouldering cat on to your tongue, chances are you'll vomit. You'd vomit anyway, of course, but the contrast between what you were expecting and what you actually got would make you spew hard enough to ...
A Pocket Full of Grumbles
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