Surprisingly I have had a splendid day. I actually found cause for celebration in turning 40. No mean feet given my propensity for drama and nihilism . It has been instead something of a joyous revelation that I have bothered to stay alive for so long. Paradoxically, this entire entry should have been given over to the frustrated musings and embittered ramblings of a life gone woefully astray. I could, should and indeed always intended today to stand as an emblem of sadness, a towering monument ...